head wars

i cannot stop this war going on in my brain. or my heart. who knows. i feel anger. sadness. peace. happiness. contentment. annoyance. all the things that have happened and changed since the accident are very conflicting to me. i should be thrilled about things that are bugging the crap out of me. i should be soo angry about others and i am. i should WANT to move fwd in relationships. be it with God or any one else. and still i hold back. i feel closer to certain people and so much farther away from others. i feel tired. and worn out. and done.